what ever you want me to be. let me be.

you bleed just to know you're alive.

2007-09-20T19:44:00.000+08:00

It's done. 769 envelopes.

This morning, as I was still packing, and listening to my mp3, a thought came to my mind. This... thought... is not new. I've had this thought before, but it was a long long looong time ago (Sec 3).

Yeah. Iris does things to your mind. The classic emo song.

"And I don't want the world to see me.
Cos I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am."

I have this belief that no one has nothing to hide. Or everyone has something to hide. (Jee I don't know which one to use. "More no hair"?)

Everyone has a side of them that no one else knows, but themselves.

For me, this 'unknown side' is like an outlet for anything that I may be feeling. Anger, happiness, lust, excitement, sadness...

(:

It makes me me.

Heh.

Yes I'm feeling quite moody. Stupid Iris.

woo haa

2007-09-19T20:43:00.000+08:00

Packin packin and more packin.

Been at OBS East Coast Campus (ECC) the past 2 days packing stuff to be sent out to schools. OBS ECC was previously known as SPARKc.

Somewhere in there lies 500 envelopes.

One more day to go!

On a side note, look out for Recruitment Ads for OBS in Saturday's Classifieds. (: Will post them here when it's published. (:

fill in the blank.

2007-09-17T22:34:00.001+08:00

I am

you know.

2007-09-16T10:56:00.001+08:00

I just watch TV again.

Yes. My life is now pretty much work and TV. Not as bad as it sounds. So I'm not complainin.

Anyway, 7th Heaven is such a sweet show. You know the kind that makes you smile and go "awww...".

A thought just came to mind and made me smile, with a feeling that I've probably never felt before. (: Ah well.

of chick flicks and lazy days.

2007-09-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

Hi I'm Farand.

Today was an interesting day.

I woke up to focaccia bread with picnic ham for breakfast.

I watched TV.

I went back to sleep till lunch.

I watched TV.

I had lunch.

I watched TV.

I went to my room to stone online.

I watched TV.

I went for a run, then had dinner.

I watched TV.

I went back online to do online quizzes. Quizzes with titles like "How are you going to die?", "What kind of dog are you?", "Are you a good kisser?"... You get the point.

Then, guess what happened.

v
v
v

I watched TV.

And enjoyed every single minute of it. According to Denise, it's called "off day".

keep it in.

2007-09-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

I wonder what's it like.

You know. I wanna be able to talk about it without thinking of so many other factors.

To quote my Sec 1 & 2 art teacher, Mr Boh, "You know, but you don't know."

Wise words. Seriously.

ready to make

2007-09-12T20:45:00.000+08:00

So there always comes a time when you say to yourself, "What if I could just run away? Get away from it all."

Today, is one of those times. But not quite like those I've experienced before.

For me, I usually get these, um, thoughts, in my head when the going gets tough, you know what I'm saying? Projects, work what not.

But today, as I was enjoying the breeze on my way back to the mainland, I just wanted to leave everything behind and, I don't know, run away.

But funny thing is, there's really nothing to run away from this time. Nothing major really.

There's work, for sure. I mean, 5 months ain't exactly very fast. But it's rather enjoyable, if you put aside the long travelling times.

Then there's just things in life that you deal with, nothing major, nothing you want to scream/shout/yell about. You know, personal stuff, thoughts about your future blah blah.

But I really can't say that this sudden desire to 'break free' was brought about by one particular thing.

Strange ain't it?

But yes, I really do wanna just go somewhere and do nothing but lie in the sun, have fun, and relax. I miss my chao-tah days so bad.

Sabah. I miss trekking.

a new day has come.

2007-09-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

Hello one and all.

Attachment has finally begun! I'm really excited for the things that are coming my way. Woo.

But that's only half of my excitement. The other half, is of course my workplace.

Going to pulau ubin is really quite awesome cos the boat ride there really perks you up. The place itself is really nice too. I've never been to OB Singapore, so I was kinda excited.

My department has a DSLR! It's government property though. Even has a tag to remind users that it belongs to PA.

Anyway, I was just trying it out in the office, to I thought I'd take some photos of my workplace!

Welcome to the Business & Capability Development unit. It's a small department, only 4 of us.

My desk.

Oh yeah. Check out the view.

like no other.

2007-08-31T12:15:00.000+08:00

Having friends is more than just having company for breakfast/lunch/dinner.

Having friends is more than just telling you the truth, the cold hard truth.

Having friends is more than just receiving endless advice and genuine concern, even at 4.30am.

Having friends, is a good thing. A damn good thing.

But having friends like no other. That's just downright amazing.

(: Thank you.

comcheemcheem

2007-08-29T21:19:00.000+08:00

After a comcheemcheem day, I have achieved the impossible.

I cleared my room.

It's not just outside. Everything inside the cupboards and drawers are also tidy. Woo!

This is my second gift to you. (:

This is the amount of trash I generated over the past 3 years.

Actually more than 3 years. I found my Sec 3 HCL notes. Yikes. See how small my feet are compared to the trash.

Oh and I also found $15.81 of coins in my drawers.

remember this?

2007-08-28T09:41:00.000+08:00

multiplied.

yikes.

I don't dance.

2007-08-26T00:43:00.000+08:00

Poster / e-flyer

Programme

Facility Guide

Show List

know the words once upon a

2007-08-25T00:44:00.000+08:00

Single voice.

Above the noise.

Woooo.

pound beauty.

2007-08-15T20:38:00.001+08:00

So the day started with me leaving the house 'late', and afraid that I was going to be late, I took a bus to city hall so I could take the train to Toa Payoh.

Anyway, I was the earliest. And even if I took the direct bus from my house, which was in front of the bus I took to city hall, I would still be the earliest.

But I digress.

So at the library, I found a book that I have set my eyes on for quite some time. Now I'm not one who reads a lot, so this is quite a rare moment in my life.

This is the book: SQ21. Singapore Queers of the 21st Century.

I read probably half the stories in there, and I must say I'm very much moved by it.

The book comprises stories of about a dozen or so gays and lesbians who have come out in Singapore. Each story entails the pre, the process, and the post of coming out to the people around them. Every story is written in first-person, so it's a very personal experience, and you can't help but be forced to take a walk in their shoes.

There were a couple of stories that moved me a lot.

There was one about Jeremy Kowk. He's my age, and came out really early, even before secondary school. But what moved me about his story is how he came to terms with his sexuality at such a young age, and the stories about the relationships with those around him.

And then there's the story about Dominic Chua, a GP tutor at a junior college. His story was quite empowering, because of the acceptance that he got from those around him. How he came out to his entire class of 23(if I remember) was, I believe, in itself something that speaks volumes about how everyone can come to terms with homosexuality.

Lastly, the story about a mother. No it's not about her sexuality, but her 2 sons. Both her sons are gay, and she talked about how she accepted it, and how she loved them all the same. I mean she went to the extent of buying books on how to be parents of gay children. But the father was a complete bastard in my opinion.

Now I'm a person who's pro-gay. I don't advocate it, neither do I promote it, but I'm really ok with it. In short, I accept homosexuality.

The nature of my course of study probably played a large role in how I view the issue. I mean, if I were to have taken some other course, or go to a JC for that matter, I would gladly be fooled by the stereotypes portrayed in the Singaporean media.

For those who don't know, the media regulations in Singapore state that media protrayals of homosexuals must, and can only be in the negative light.

Most people's impressions of homosexuals are that they lead promicuous lifestyles, they're effiminate, they dress nicely all the time, they're loud, they go to fancy parties all the time, and they sleep around. Most importantly, a lot of people think all homosexuals carry HIV/AIDS.

Why? Because that's what most people know of them through the TV.

[80% of HIV/AIDS victims are hetrosexuals, while only 10% are homosexual.] [Just to keep things in perspective.]

In the words of Ilhammi, "Wha-fug..."

Judging a person on his or her sexual orientation is just wrong. Sick and wrong.

Imagine your lecturer reading your work, and giving it an A. Then your lecturer asks you, "Do you eat meat?"

You reply, "Yeah."

Your grade is now F.

Doesn't make sense right?

My point exactly.

Everyone should read the book. It's not fantastic, but it'll open your mind for sure.

eternal.

2007-08-13T18:53:00.000+08:00

Hi.

Um, yeah.

Summer.

I'm really quite affected by it.

Everyone should watch.

all you need is.

2007-08-12T17:47:00.000+08:00

title.

2007-08-07T13:26:00.000+08:00

at the ol' ball game.

2007-08-06T04:25:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing I'm thankful for in my life, it'd obviously be one thing.

Friends.

By that, of course, I mean the real people in my life, not the TV series WHICH I also happen to like very much.

But yes, friends are amazing.

Who else will be there to tell you "F*ck you Farand" when you finish an assignment that you started on 24 hours before the deadline?

Who else will be there to tell you "Farand, do you know why your photos are not nice..."?

Who else will be there to pluck your eyebrows at 3am at Blk 130 Marsling Rice?

Who else will be there to pose for you as you complete your photo essay?

Who else will be there to encourage you to order a grilled chicken foldover without sauce and extra veggies at 1am?

Who else will be there to assign you exclusive rights to use "hoo hoo"?

And finally,

Who else will snip your leg hair off while you're sleeping?

No one. And I'm glad. (:

swim the current.

2007-07-28T17:35:00.000+08:00

I was surfing this site yesterday.

I shouldn't have. But I was somehow compelled to do it.

It was bad.

I guess some memories just don't fade that easily.

I'm sorry.

for someone.

2007-07-27T20:31:00.000+08:00

Hi.

.....

Bye.

where dreams are born everyday.

2007-07-26T22:07:00.000+08:00

National Day is coming.

One look at the promo posters of this year's NDP and I'm cheesed.

Gone are the good ol' days of nationalistic pride and patriotic nostalgia.

Yes, the posters look mighty cool.
Yes, the songs are catchy.
Yes, the DOP for the 'Will You' video did a great job.

But what in the world happened this year. Sheesh.

When Stefanie Sun began singing National Day theme songs back in 2003, I thought that we would lose some of the National Day feel. But I was proven otherwise.

Every year, from since, I don't know, Primary 4 or 5, when I hear National Day theme songs or watch the videos, I'll get shivers at the cresendos and stuff. But it's not cos it's cheesy and stuff (ok sometimes it is), but I just get that I'm-so-glad-I'm-Singaporen vibe.

But this year. Sigh.

Let's see if I will take back what I've just posted come August 9.

And I'm proud to declare that my iTunes library has new additions of National Day theme songs from 1998 to now.

I love you Singapore.

"I think we should have a Stop-complaining-about-Government Campaign."

just carry on.

2007-07-23T19:42:00.000+08:00

From my first roll on a film slr.

Am I doing something wrong?

am I good or am I good.

2007-07-18T05:25:00.000+08:00

effectively worked on this from 1.30 am till 5.30am. Time now is 5.30 am. (:

Please allow me to gloat because I am very sleepy now.

help I have done it again.

2007-07-15T02:35:00.000+08:00

you have no idea how that phrase can fit into my everyday life.

It has been a very interesting day. And I like it very much.

Morning, NP Parent's Forum

Afternoon, Chinatown Chicken Rice Eating Competition

Evening, a trip to ByDeBook

Night, just hangin with the boys (yet again)

Today is one of the very rare days that I have had the time and energy to meet up with so many different people, and enjoyed every single moment of it.

It's nice. Really nice.

And Sunday... well... (:

In the mean time, my new favourite song. It's nice.

it's christmas already?

2007-07-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

This is 10% luck,
20% skill,
15% concentrated power of will,
5% pleasure,
50% pain,
And 100% reason to remember the name.

I saw this for the Ch5 promo of the Guiness 9-ball thing.

Then I saw it in idah's nick.

Then I heard the song somewhere.

Then I decided to post it.

Go me.

I can see you.

2007-07-08T11:25:00.000+08:00

(:

Hung out with the boys last night. Good things never change.

Heh. It's times like this that I remember who I am.

Hello, I am Farand. And this is the farand effect.

my 2.4 reeks.

2007-07-07T13:32:00.000+08:00

Yep. It's official.

Hardly comes as a surprise though.

On a lighter note, I work well under pressure, but not when it comes to photography and design.

Hmm.

How's that "on a lighter note"?

I really have no idea.

Go, Dexter Family go!

to clear the little spaces in the corners.

2007-06-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

I'm not a very socialble person.

That satement itself was very unsociable.

Or maybe I'm just shy.

Worse.

Maybe I'm shy AND unsociable.

Yikes.

over my head.

2007-06-18T20:40:00.000+08:00

wave of nostalgia when I saw a special on The Fray on MTV.

(:

Hee.

an utter, complete and arrant schemiel.

2007-06-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

alright.

As usual, this is going to be deeply encoded.

It's just so different? Speaking, and typing.

Wow, it's damn hard.

...

the wonders that can be done.

2007-05-31T19:51:00.000+08:00

I love photoshop.

These shots I took on Felix's dslr during the Chiang Mai Study Trip. This was at Chiang Mai University. On the day of our recording.

I was bored doing work today, so I photoshopped these photos. See them on my flickr.

I put the before and after, just for fun.

It's simple stuff. Pushing and pulling, some extractions, saturation and desaturation, make skin smooth blah blah. But I think it makes a difference. (:

Enjoy.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

into a sky so blue.

2007-05-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

I just wish it could last longer.

I really wanna get it off my chest. I really do. It's not that I don't want to.

Give me some time k?

it's not that I don't want to.

2007-05-15T23:42:00.000+08:00

Hey.

First of all, let me tell you that I love what I'm doing for Photojournalism class right now. Taking the pictures is one thing. But the developing process is just so fascinating for me. Every week, we get one step closer to our final prints. It's so exciting, omg omg omg.

Ok, that settles the I'm-so-excitied-I-can't-control-myself part.

Now.

Something happened on Sunday. Nope, not just Mother's Day.

Yep, something happened. And I can't really stop thinking about it.

If you're reading this, I hope you know what I'm talking about.

If not, oh well. Life goes on.

Cheers.

things we have to live without.

2007-04-28T22:54:00.000+08:00

Hello again.

It's Saturday, the 28th of April 2007, 10:56pm that I'm beginning this post.

Just a note. (:

I just came back from a family gathering, my grandmother's 75th birthday. As usual, I just sat and made small talk. Very very very small talk. I got restless after like 5 min I reached the place.

But of course, that's not all that I'm going to say in this post.

Last Friday, a few people asked me a question, just manifested in different forms: Why do you still come back to OB?

I didn't really reply to the questions, cos they sort of filled in with "Isn't final year supposed to be damn busy?". I think I just shrugged my shoulders and said something along the lines of "No la, it's not that busy." My subsequent replies are no longer in my brain, so yeah.

But this morning, I went for some scholarship talk at Civil Service College.

As I listened to the criteria for the scholarships, my mind sort of drifted off, save for one speaker who was actually funny.

My mind just went back to my times in VS, how I so-called "rose through the ranks" and I slogged like a dog basically, which was what I was often called.

I look at myself now, I don't see much difference. I think I blogged about this some time ago, but yes, once again, Farand has over-committed himself.

I then embarked on a mental warfare-of-sorts with my brain cells, debating my true purpose in the auditorium, or in NP for that matter. What happened during that battle, I think it's best that it stays in my head.

But I guess to the question "why do you still come back to OB?", my honest answer is: I don't know. My mind tries to figure a lot of things out, but sometimes, the heart is what's important. And if I'm willing to sacrifice for something, it shows that I have a hell lot of passion for it.

In VS, my passion was with VS. Now, this passion has transformed itself into a passion of my passions.

Go figure.

It's Saturday, the 28th of April 2007, 11:13pm that I'm beginning this post.

----------------------------------------------

it's not over. let it out.

2007-04-22T15:10:00.000+08:00

Hello. Does the title sound emo to you?

Yes?

Ok. Good, just checking.

No, I'm not emo right now, thank you very much, though I would very much like to be. Hmmm.

Anywhos, school's just started for about a week, and pretty soon, things will be in full swing. Yippe, can't wait.

No no, seriously, I'm not being sarcastic or anything. Just that sometimes, I really do miss school. *geek*

To those whom I have not seen in a long time, let's meet up soon. But here's basically what you can expect to see.

Farand.

Farand with short hair.

More Farand.

Yeap, pretty much it.

(:

Been talking to some people about some stuff lately, and somehow, it all just became extremely overwhelming last night. For the first time in months, or perhaps years, I had trouble falling asleep. Yes.

Ever since who-knows-when, I had no trouble running off to lala land the moment my head touched my pillow and I had my kapuang by my side.

But last night, oh my god, I seriously tossed and turned in bed. I can't even remember the last time I did that. Wow.

Three words to sum up the experience, or phenomenon rather:

I need help.

Cheerios.

same same, but different.

2007-04-02T21:14:00.001+08:00

Hey ya'll what's up.

Just back from Chiang Mai last night. Had a freaking fun time there I tell you.

Everything was nice, but the last 5 days was the best. Trek and chill-out. Best way to describe it.

Drank a lot during this trip I must say, but the time spent drinking was really fun. During the trek the time was spent playing bridge and singing songs.

Back in the city, the last night was probably the best night for me ever. Nice little cafe, good music, beer and friends just chillin and talking. Singha is really nice I must say. Everyone should try it.

Drank on the plane back too. Haha. Wine and Tiger. Fun fun fun.

Will upload some photos when I get them and if I'm not too lazy. Haha. Managed to play with Felix's dslr during the trip. Will definitely upload those onto my flickr.

Take care. (:

orange.

2007-02-25T22:33:00.000+08:00

talk.

I love to talk.

Talk talk talk talk talk.

(:

Work has been fun, but very tiring. Brain drain some people call it, and it's a very good description. So I watched DVDs to reward myself.

OMG Devil Wears Prada is a really good movie. Meryl Streep rrrrocks. Lake House was a huge disappointment though. Ugh.

Anyway, my work basically involves helping with the marketing of two new companies. That involves a lot of things. But the first was to do a logo. So I did this in what 2 days? So proud of myself. Hee.

Leadership Development Centre.

Youth Enterprise Academy.

YAY. More work to do though. WOOHOO.

of fake smiles and handshakes.

2007-02-18T22:20:00.000+08:00

Payday baby.

Alright, it's really quite mean of me to materialise the great CNY. But hey, I can't help it.

The past 2 nights have been a very interesting revelation for me. Yep. VERY interesting might I add.

I guess family gatherings/festive cheer really kicks my mind into the fifth dimension, whatever that means. I just wanted to sound profound.

For those who are trully enjoying CNY, GONG XI FA CAI.

For those who aren't, well, welcome aboard. (: And GONG XI FA CAI anyways.

so don't call me no more.

2007-02-16T15:47:00.000+08:00

My brother left for Australia this morning.

Bittersweet moment for me.

No wait.

It was rather emotionless in fact. As you probably know, I'm not exactly very close to my brother. Haha.

At the airport, I was wearing the FMSA t-shirt, jeans, and my corduroy jacket, in my Gravis slippers. Typical day.

My relatives started to come. We, no, they talked, and I just sat there eating my Big Breakfast, sippin my coffee, waiting for time to pass.

My mom cried when my brother went through immigration, after betting with my cousins that she wouldn't shed a tear.

Stuff started going through my mind.

In about 3 years, hopefully i'll be on my way to Australia too. I wonder if the experience this morning will be the same then. I highly doubt so.

My mom said to me on the way back, "How come you don't talk to [cousin's name] one ar?"

My reply? (In Mandarin)

"I close to [cousin's name] meh?"

I felt kinda sad. But that quickly faded of course. I rarely get upset over family stuff anymore.

Numb? Maybe.

Then again, probably.

My eyes were watery,somehow as we reached home.

Life goes on eh?

Woohoo!

.yadnuS s'tI

2007-02-11T21:22:00.000+08:00

有人说，时间可以让人望记一些事情，甚至是一些我们不想忘记的事。

It's Sunday.

Comis paper is tomorrow, and PR is on Tuesday.

It's Sunday.

In two days time, 2nd year of poly is officially over.

It's Sunday.

14 comm is gonna be an interesting time for me.

It's Sunday.

I hope I can earn enough money to do what I wanna do.

It's Sunday.

Kahang, here I come.

It's Sunday.

Chiang Mai, here I come.

It's Sunday.

Days I won't be home: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 March, 1, 2, 3, 4 April.

It's Sunday.

My hair very short.

It's Sunday.

Oh fuck.

It's Sunday.

my mind's unweaving.

2007-02-06T11:59:00.000+08:00

Love you guys. (:

and I've had my say.

2007-01-27T08:39:00.000+08:00

what's the point in all this screaming.

2007-01-15T11:34:00.000+08:00

"The world is incompetent, with the exception of youself." - Farand

"If you want anything done right, you do it yourself." - Farand

"I rock." - Farand

"What? Am I not right?" - Farand

just so you know.

2007-01-13T01:01:00.001+08:00

really like this song. don't know why. but I do.

go on. laugh.

2007-01-11T02:32:00.000+08:00

"When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle.

Then I realised that God doesn't work that way.

So I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness."

pump it.

2007-01-07T14:25:00.000+08:00

a million days could pass us by. but all this time, but just a dream.

That sounds bad don't it? I'm sure it sucks.

2007-01-01T19:17:00.000+08:00

what can I say.

Have a kick-ass 2007 everyone.

the soul felt its worth.

2006-12-25T11:46:00.000+08:00

emo emo emo. Yep. Typical during festive seasons because I just can't do any work.

Damn workaholic.

Watched Love Actually last night, or rather the last 30 minutes of it, on Channel 5. Love that show. I love almost all the brit shows that I've watched.

On the way to dinner last night, O Night Divine came on the radio. Suddenly the 'nysnc a capella version started streaming into my head. I was dreamy ever since. It's playin on my iTunes now. Man it's nice.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Really.

Merry Christmas. (:

breath fogged up the glass.

2006-12-21T19:02:00.000+08:00

Hey.

I said I was gonna try and take more shots of humans. Here are some. I'm still in camp. But you see, photographers have flexible schedules... *grin*

Ben.

Jia Jun.

KK.

Rong Chang.

Xin yi.

Ying Jia.

Yong Jie.

who said.

2006-12-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

Fly. F - L - Y. Fuck la you.

Random thought. Enjoy.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

Liting practicing the phone-in thing.

Dian.

I've recently tried to take more shots of people rather than objects. I think it's really hard to take shots of people cos they're always moving and stuff. It's a new personal challenge I guess. Something to let me take my mind off school.

Peace.

if we all just stopped.

2006-12-10T19:12:00.000+08:00

Been goin around blogs of late. Bored even though there's a tonne of work to be done. What's new.

Check out Blogist.

Been foolin around with my friend's camera. Usin it for Feature.

Marissa, Dian, Kamil & I worked on a radio magazine. Check it out. It's almost 10 min long. So yeah.

This next one's goin on 938Live. We're top 8! So our programmes gonna be aired. Catch the other 7 on 938Live, Saturdays at 6.10pm and Sundays at 7.10pm, starting 16th December. Our show's airing on 23/24th. Kisha and Joseph will be the new hosts for all 8 shows.

Enjoy.

Just joined JPG. Awesome place.

open up your plans and damn you're free.

2006-12-06T18:03:00.000+08:00

Hello.

You know, I visit my blog everyday, faithfully might I add. It's part of my daily routine to go through a list of the blogs that belong to friends.

Everyday.

But I never noticed that I have not had anything to say to my darling blog for almost a month. Not until last night I didn't.

I'm about to go into I'm-so-caught-up-with-work-to-blog mode, but I've just decided not to. I want to talk about something else.

Arriving externally.

Sounds pretty wrong, but trust me, if you know what I'm talking about, it won't.

Primary 4. That's like 10 years old. 8 years seems long, yet short at the same time. I don't know what to make of it really.

Technically, it's not a secret anymore, but it still is. Or should I say it's half a secret. Yikes.

Tendency, tendency, tendency.

Bye.

a million days could pass us by, but all this time but just a dream.

2006-11-09T02:15:00.000+08:00

Yep. Emo time.

It's 2:10 now. Just had my daily dose of Disney Channel.

I've been meaning to have a post like this for a long time, but just been too lazy to do so. And on days when I'm not lazy, which is quite rare honestly, I just don't have anything to say.

Now, I'm just doing this cos I don't want to get back to my work.

/3.5238/3.4762/3.1667/

These are but numbers to most. An empirical value given to your academic ability. A superficial gauge to your mental prowess.

Why? Because I read somewhere, that humans love to make lists, in a never-ending attempt to keep their lives organised. And these numbers merely facilitate in this impossible task.

Talking to fiq sort of put things back in perspective. I was just telling him, that when I made a decision to come poly, I want to take things easy. In fact, here's a little post that I wrote when I fist came to NP.

"I was contemplating on the bus home, that maybe I'll be a different person altogether in NP. I was thinking a reserved guy in the corner of the class, speaking when I have to, and have my own group of close friends. Maybe it'll happen.

Maybe."

It's funny, reading it now. Real funny.

As usual, I've got myself into lots and lots of stuff, over-committing and stuff. What's new right? Bah.

OB and FMSA. What can I say. As much as it's fun and rewarding and such, I feel like I'm in Sec 3 again.

Those numbers on top, say a lot to me, about me. Yeah.

I find myself asking myself a lot of questions lately. And I seriously doubt it's just me being emo. As much as I hate to prove my mom right, I have to admit. I'm tired. Really tired. Physically exhausted. Pooped. But something in me is just keeping me going, even though I just want to take a break from it all.

A big question: Is it worth it?

The bastard in me says: You're too good for this Farand. You don't owe them anything. They'll die without you, so just leave, sit back and go HAHAHA.

I'd very much love to do that. But alas, once again, I have fallen victim to pragmatism.

The pessimist in me says: Fuck it Farand. You're doing all this just for a few points and a nice piece of paper. And c'mon man, seriously, that scholarship? Pfft. "Go head butt a bullet." Eventually, some one will get it, and it's not you, and you'll be a stinkin' sore loser about it.

Aptly put aye?

But I guess it all boils down to what I have become thus far.

Wei: Farand, what happen to you ar?

Farand: What? I look different meh?

Drew: It's not the look.

Wei: You're like damn bitchy now.

Farand: Oh ok.

D & W: See!

Yep. The Chinese saying says it all. 近朱者赤，近墨者黑。

Good nighteverybody. Thanks for watching.

(:

2913 - J

2006-10-29T19:06:00.000+08:00

Number of people: 4
Number of hours: um...
Number of entries: 1

Yes, we are Aforesome Productions.

And yes, we're in the finals.

(:

Do check out our film here and vote if you like it.

To view the clip in better quility (slightly), do click here. Loading time will be longer of course.

Enjoy!

(:

and the most revered of all.

2006-10-08T13:22:00.000+08:00

Waddup homies.

Been freakishly occupied these few weeks.

Canon DV Fest & FMSA has taken up most of my time this break. Tiring, but I'm pretty darn excited about them.

Our film is coming along fine, with minor and major hiccups along the way. But it's almost done, so please vote for it when it's up for voting!!!

FMSA has been amazingly fun though the work has been a major pain in the ass. Bleargh. No more shit like this once semester is over. I'm gonna concentrate on working.

I've stopped working at Flutes, sadly. Never even stepped there since I got back from Sabah. But oh well. I guess I need a change in working environment anyway. Sentosa here I come!

And here's a little something that cost me $8.40 and 2 days to create. Bah.

Photos by Chris, Daniel, Farand

capture. edit. bleargh.

2006-09-30T00:57:00.000+08:00

We are Aforesome Productions.

it's following you.

2006-09-20T02:19:00.000+08:00

Hey hey. Waddup people.

So it's been a while. Been lazy. Bah.

But since a loyal fan *cough*cherli*cough* has beckoned for an update, so I shall.

How's everyone? Good I suppose, save for those who aren't. Yep.

Just back from Sabah on the 15th. 12 days with Outward Bound Sabah.

*insert happenings of aobvementioned event*

NO, I'm not being lazy. I just don't know where to start, so to speak. But hey, it's probably gonna be the typical "oooh-it-was-such-a-life-changing-trip" or the ever so common "I'm-so-glad-I-went-for-this" and "I-made-so-many-new-friends" kinda shit anyway. Don't waste your time reading it cos it'll only be special to ME. MUAHAHA.

Time check, 2.20am.

On the way home just now, it suddenly dawned upon me that I really enjoy the whole backpacking experience. The kind of thing where you wake up in the morning and say "jee, what should we do today?"

Escapist? Maybe. But yeah, that's me.

Ok. Cough syrup kicking in. My bed is calling me in its sweet, sultry voice. My pillow. It is floating towards me. My bolster. She wants me to hug her.

That's it.

I'm out.

smile for the casual closure.

2006-08-25T03:33:00.000+08:00

Hi. Again.

It's 3am. Again.

Maybe it's the whole 3am thing that's making me blog.

Here's another equation. (I realise this is quite entertaining.)

3am + blog-hopping + beer + equation in last post = Farand not able to sleep

I'll be facing the root of all problems in a while. I really don't know what's going on, and I really don't know what to do. And It sure sucks. Again, Kisha's quote is very apt for what I'm feeling now.

Damn.

I think by now, those who have figured that my posts have mysteriously migrated waaay to the bottom would get a drift of what I'm talking about. So yeah. But I like talking about it like this. Gives a different perspective. Shows how dumb/stupid/insert-more-synonyms I am really. Yay.

Fear of rejection is really kicking in right now. It's probably the thing holding me back; my ball-less-ness. Yeah.

Did you know Lance Bass of N*Sync is gay?

she's on your mind.

there's really no way to reach me.

2006-08-21T03:07:00.000+08:00

Hello again.

It's 3am again.

Hello again.

Some of you may know it, some of you don't. But it's been hell of a roller coaster ride the past few weeks.

I don't mean in terms of school and shit. You get my drift.

It's been what, almost 2 years? And honestly, I really don't know if it's cos of the long..., I don't know, hiatus? This is getting really bad I have to say. I try and recall when the last time I actually screamed into a pillow because of such matters. But alas, I can't.

It's not fun at all I have to say, not that it should be. But with all the different signals, it's just very, very disorienting. I'm not even sure of what's going on in that head of mine. Helpless? Beyond hope? Maybe.

"Take a chance. You never know until you try."

I never really had a knack for such stuff. Quite the major sucker when it comes to stuff like that.

I did try. Or rather, tried to try, to be brutally honest.

Here's the ultimate formula:

Weeks of roller coasters + so many bloody different signals + Farand + Disney Channel Original Movie + Hallmark Movie = Item No. 3 blogging.

I really don't know. I find myself drifting back to the past, something I really shouldn't be doing. And it just makes me wonder if it's true.

Sucks eh?

It gets worse. Advert and MRM. Bah.

Kamil shared with me a quote from Kisha.

"When life sucks ball, fuck it."

Pretty much my attitude for now. Just add a dash of confusion and a pinch of anger. Not forgetting the finishing touches of pain and aggravation. Woohoo! An awesome feast.

I'm waiting for SQ21. Whether or not that has got anything to do with this post, you go figure it out yourself. Though I'd throw in a little viewer participation.

Peace.

I'm already gone.

figure out.

2006-08-20T03:31:00.000+08:00

What a week really.

Been studying for them darned exams since what, tuesday? Did an all-nighter at changi on Thursday-Friday, and accomplished quite a lot.

Sort of 'rewarded' myself by going back to work on Friday and Saturday night. By the way, it's 3.27 am Sunday now, and I sort of just got home from my Saturday night shift. Feeling kinda high right now, thus the post.

But I digress...

Flutes was awesome really. It's been almost 2 and a half months since I worked at Flutes, and it's been nothing but great. Only 1 new face, so not too bad, got used to the old staff pretty quickly. Friday was kinda shaky in terms of the stuff I had to do, but Saturday was better. Hopefully I can get back into full force again soon.

Had a bit of a drink just now, explaining the high-ness. Good stuff I drank. Thank goodness I work at Flutes, get good, FREE stuff. Woohoo.

Ok, will hit the hay now.

------------------------------------------
Everyone know I'm in over my...
eight seconds left in overtime.

how to save a life.

2006-08-15T23:26:00.000+08:00

ah. The good ol' days. Remember this guys?

Back to books now. Bye.

I've forgotten if they're green or their blue.

2006-08-12T00:47:00.000+08:00

Liberated at last. Yep.

With everything cleared, I can focus on what matters to me the most.

What's next for me?

Exams
Sabah
Work
More Farand-ness

Woohoo!

a million days could pass us by.

2006-07-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

it sucks.

School's ending in two weeks, and honestly that's all that's keeping me going now.

I don't know if it's fatigue, but I think right now I'm questioning myself a lot, about stuff. Stuff like friends.

But a plethora of emotions have also been going through my head of late. Bleargh.

Just needed to get those things off my chest, not that it's exactly what I want to say. Don't know how to put it in words.

I don't remember being this upset in a long long long time.

searching for the right.

2006-07-21T10:35:00.000+08:00

It's been a while. Finally have time for blog therapy.

Hello people who read this blog. How are you?

Ok so the past week has been one of the craziest times in this sem, and the past few months have probably been the craziest times in my life. So far, for the very least. I believe I am not alone when I say this.

I've been absolutely tired and sleepy. It's my fault really, cos I'm the kind of person who wouldn't do work even though I have time, but will only do it when it's almost due. Yep. So I've been surviving on apples to keep me awake. As such, I am postively shagged.

I mean, just yesterday, I was about to log onto MeL, then I apparently dozed off in the clubhouse. When I woke up about half an hour later, I saw my password in the username text field. Go figure eh?

But I just want to say a big HELLO HOW ARE YOU to those whom I have not seen or talked to in a long time.

The holidays are coming, and I'm so bloody looking forward to having a good break, and getting my ass moving and go work for some green grub. Yummy. I can almost taste it already.

Take care people.

the most inetersting

2006-07-08T22:09:00.000+08:00

Hey guys.

Go listen to Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann.

It's quite an old song. Followed me through my Sec 4 years. I think some lyrics can really realte to some of the problems my friends are having now.

Peace ya'll. I'm here ya.

of tempers and emotions.

2006-07-01T03:11:00.000+08:00

Howdy ya'll. Just watched some cowboy movie on DISNEY CHANNEL *insert fanfare and popping confetti*.

But that's not important. Well, not very important. But I digress...

Of late, people have been acting up, not that it's a bad thing. What I mean, is that, my friends all seem to be going through a phase where things just ain't going right. Tempers flare, emotions take over. You name it, it's happened among one of my friends.

And me? Well, mostly emotionless. Like other than the ever-present fatigue, and the occasional dose of stress, I'm just bumming around, taking every opportunity to just spend time with my one and only. I guess it took me many years to realise that I've been neglecting someone so much: Me. =)

But me aside, I don't think I can provide much entertainment to anyone anyway. So let's move on, shall we?

Back to the temper and emotion thingee. Yeah, I mean, it's just quite, I don't know. Sad? Depressing? I don't know what word is appropriate. I'm the kind of guy who would be there for someone when they're down and out, but I don't know how to deal with it. Like, I just instinctively keep quiet when someone is unhappy or sad or angry. I'm not one who will like, offer motivating words or shit like that. I'll be just be there to listen and shit, you know? Very passive in that sense. Oh well.

I guess to me, the best support I can give is just to be there. Literally, there, in your face. I would want that I guess. Like if I'm down or out, I don't need someone to be next to me, saying comforting words and stuff. I just need to know someone's there. For a pat on the back, for an ear to hear me out, for a hug, whatever. To me, that's the best kind of support anyone can give me.

I remember The Notebook by Nickolas Sparks. Great book by the way. There was this part where it said something about silence. Silence between one another, be it friends or family, is not bad at all. It may mean that we know so much about each other that there's no need for conversation. So yeah, I've never looked at silence the same way again. Besides, silence lets me think about stuff. So yeah.

Well, it's been a long time since I've actually blogged like this: reflections in the wee hours of the morning. It's nice. So many memories.

Yep, that's all folks. Thanks for coming by. See ya.

livin' in my own world.

2006-06-22T21:29:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Yes, the curry puff thing has finally died down. I shall stop being irritating.

Then again, that's almost impossible. Let's make some changes to the above statement.

Yes, the curry puff thing has finally died down. I shall start being less irritating.

Ah, better, don't you think?

Peace.

world can see us in way.

2006-06-12T21:32:00.000+08:00

Hey you curry puffs out there.

FYI, my Disney fad is still there. I love Disney Channel.

Anyway, feels good to have assignments out of your hair for a while. Had OB BBQ yesterday. Was supposed to finish analysis when I got home, but was too shagged and just konked off. Ended up finishing the analysis at 9, just 3 hours before it was due. And I was at home. I need 1 and a half hours to reach school. I needed to print the stuff. I needed to water the plants cos my mom loves them so. But I pulled through. Here's what I did.

**Key Visual taken from Gerald Bybee Studios**

I kinda like it. I love tongue-in-cheek advertisements. Not a big fan of formal advertisement stuff. That's why I love Apple ads. I love Apple.

Mawai soon! Yesssssa! I miss that place a whole lot. Last time I was there I think it was when I brought LSCT there. Oh well.

Cheerios!

start of something new.

2006-06-04T14:56:00.000+08:00

I've been having sort of a Disney fad of late. Been listening to lots of Disney songs.

Ok maybe not a lot. Just 4 songs repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

And NO, Mickey Mouse did not sing them thank you very much.

Anyway, one of the songs was the one I mentioned in my last post, A dream is a wish your heart makes by Disney's Circle of Stars. The other 3 songs are from High School Musical, all duets by Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens(read cute). It's a nice movie with nice people and nice songs and everything. Some continuation problems here and there, should fire the line producer, but I digress. There was this low-angle shot of Zan and Vanessa when they were singing What I've Been Looking For and there was a super slow dolly in. WOW. Plus the song, blew me away.

Yes, I have a BIG thing for sappy love stories, happy?

And before I forget,
II
II
V

(almost there... c'mon)

(a little bit more...)

WASSUP CURRY PUFF. =D

a dream is a wish made from your heart.

2006-05-15T04:19:00.000+08:00

Wassup my curry puffs.

I've been feeling moody of late. Some call it emo. I day it's a mix of both really. By the way, the title of this post is taken from one of Disney Channel's songs, the ones where the stars from every show sing to convey a special message in a video with ridiculous lip-syncing. But the songs are always nice. Go figure.

There's been a lot going through my mind, but a lot of things that should be going through my mind isn't. Things like school work, health, friends blah blah. I find myself spacing out a lot in front of the screen. Not a recent phenomenon come to think of it. Maybe it's the tremendous workload from school, or maybe it's just the raging hormones. Either way, I don't really care.

Honestly, I don't know why i just blogged. I don't know what I just blogged. But I'm gonna hit the 'Publish Post' button anyways.

so it's been quite a journey.

2006-05-06T23:38:00.000+08:00

the 13th committee. more than just a team.

I thought I'd do a little reflection on this fine Polling Day night.

The 13th comm.

What can I say. What started out as an apprehensive step turned out to be a wonderful experience for me.

On February 17, 2006, I remember the 12th comm was having this shake-hand thank-you-for-coming thing going on during the last training of 05/06 when some of them started to say wierd stuff to me. I thought something was coming my way or something.

I wasn't wrong.

Soon after, after we had our showers if my failing memory serves me well, some of the committee approached me, informing me of my post in the 13th comm. I was sort of stunned I guess. I knew I very much wanted the PR stint, but the addition of the logistics part was a little daunting.

Anyway, shortly after that day I was busy with camps and work, and that matter sort of slipped out of my head. Up and coming was the AGM, of which I didn't help out very much due to my other commitments. I remember rushing back from Malaysia after an EOA reccee trip, only to find myself having missed more than half of the AGM. I felt kinda bad. Oh well.

After the AGM, we had a sit down with Jason, 'we' refering to the 12th and newly formed 13th comm. He was talking about the training camp dates. Turned out that the initial dates planned clashed with one of my camping assignments, and Chris had taken leave for those days. I felt very very bad. It was a very tense situation then and I didn't feel very comfortable there. At that point in time, the thought of pulling out crossed my mind. But it's just not me to give up without a fight.

Training camp was great. I felt that it was trully a time where we showed each other who we were, what we wanted for OB, ultimately have fun and learn some skills. It was during those 4 days that I knew I wanted to carry on with my journey in the 13th comm.

Slowly but steadily, things like cca fiesta, constant meetings and stuff, we grew in confidence and became closer. I remember how much fun we had playing monopoly at 11pm when we did an overnighter for the fiesta, how much fun Fiq and I had acting for the simulation [so sorry to yew ming who had to run so much], and who can forget the late nights in school just to have meetings. Wow.

Honestly, the comm has become so much more than friends to me. It's like I'm eating and breathing nothing but OB nowadays, not that I'm complaining. I think we're dang special, and we're dang good at being special.

Thanks guys.

I don't wanna be.

2006-05-06T16:12:00.000+08:00

I realised there are a lot of things I don't want to be in life. I also know what I want to be in life.

Yeap.

Wassup curry puffs...

This is Farand, bye bye.

seems like it's been forever.

2006-05-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

Ok, so maybe it's the emo phase again for me.

Oh boy, here we go again.

Anyway, this may sound silly, but I do miss having that hand to hold, the arms to be in, you know, that sort of thing. Bah. Sappy...

But I mean, things that are happening right now just makes the fact that I'm not as resilient as I think I am so much more obvious. I feel weak, vulnerable, and worst of all, stressed. My curry puff Faye was saying that this is the first time she's heard me say I'm stressed.

Go figure.

But it's times like these when I just feel like casting everything aside and enjoy some quiet time at the beach, watching the planes and listening to the waves, having someone to hold and give a tight squeeze, feeling as if nothing else mattered.

You've got the goosebumps too?

go to school and I run and play.

2006-04-27T07:48:00.000+08:00

On Tuesday I was telling Wenting about my fears of coping.
She told me to have faith.

On Tuesday I was telling Michelle about my fears of coping.
She told me to have faith.

On Tuesday I was a pice of shit trembling in its own shit.
I told myself I'm done for.

On Wednesday, things sort of took a U-turn, or 3-point turn or K-turn, whatever.
Everything seemed right again.

You know, it's funny. If you guys remember, I created a little something some time ago to motivate myself.

I've been telling others to keep the faith, you know, trying to motivate them not to give up and it's really going to be ok. But when it comes to myself, things just aren't the same. Maybe it's cos things are always easier said than done. I don't know. Or maybe people just don't practice what they preach. Either way, I know I'm guilty of both.

But I guess seeing other people do it always made me feel that I, too, can achieve that. And it's an amazing feeling just to know that You're hyped up and ready to rumble.

Watch out world! There's a Farand around now.

show me everything and tell me how.

2006-04-23T02:24:00.000+08:00

On the way to Bukit Panjang, I was observing a particular water droplet on the window. I dare say it was for a good one minute.

I saw how it trickled down from about the middle of the glass, right down to the bottom, shifting ever so slightly, while leaving a little bit of small deposits here and there.

Yeah, that's about it. Hope you weren't expecting anything profound to pop up on your screen.

Anyway, been busy busy busy, but FUN FUN FUN! Note the use of upper case. Anyway, I sincerely felt that Thursday and Friday brought the 13th comm even closer. We worked hard, we played hard. Really hard. By play I mean Monopoly. Don't underestimate the power of this game at 11pm. It's like a bloody drug.

Cheerios mates.

c'mon baby do it.

2006-04-14T18:59:00.000+08:00

I was just reading through my blog archives.

I swear it's the whole narcissism shit going on.

C'mon, who're you kiddin? Everyone's got a narcissist in all of them.

As you can tell, those three lines were pretty irrelevant to the whole reading my blog archives shinding.

Or does it?

Hmmm. What's your take on this issue?

Jee, I don't know. Maybe it's because you have nothing to talk about.

*gasp* You don't say. Let's ask Farand what he feels about this. Farand?

...

of early mornings and early mornings.

2006-04-05T01:10:00.000+08:00

I know it's been quite a while. But I noticed quite a few are in the 'no mood to blog' mood. Me? Yeah, I guess I caught the bug.

Anyway, been busy busy busy. March was like it never existed. Gave it up to camps, work, meetings what not. Very taxing.

Recently completed major PR tasks for OB. Website's up, posters done, and some nitty gritty stuff. Logistics as well, another nightmare, but I shall not complain. Thankfully, got wenting to saikang with me. Phew.

I've been sleeping early (as in early in the morning) and waking up early for the past few days. And i guess it's beginning to taking a toll on me. Ironic I should mention this because it's 1.13 am right now. But I can't bring myself to sleep even though I'm dead tired till it's really my limit before I just nod off at whatever I'm doing.

So yeah.

Just thought I'd ramble nonsensical nothings to make myself go to sleep.

Which I will once this post is published and I have proof-read it.

Freak.

Ta.

common people, uncommon whatever.

2006-03-29T00:47:00.000+08:00

I realise I have lost the ability to concentrate and finish an entry.

This is contradicting.

Bye.

the ultimate measure.

2006-03-22T10:43:00.000+08:00

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need." - John Heider

unforgivable sinner

2006-03-05T19:37:00.000+08:00

sorry. that song was just in my head.

anywhoos, good monring/afternoon/evening, whichever time you are reading this.

I remember quite some time ago, I blogged about wanting to work in a place that requires me to wear long sleeved shirt, with candle-lit tables and shit like that. Well, I guess I'm one lucky bastard to find such a place.

It's been a busy week. Went across the causeway on Wednesday to do reccee, and again yesterday. Been helping Jsam with Soccer Mania too, though he's been doing most of the stuff and stessing himself out despite the exams. It's been hard on you bro. Peace out.

Yesterday also had OB AGM. I felt kinda bad being late cos of the briefing in M'sia. Then I realised the VS camp screwed up the schedule planned for Comm Training camp. So I felt super lousy cos Christina took leave for those days and now the camp date has to be changed because of me. And now I'm not even attending the first meeting with the Comm. Bleargh.

The weeks ahead are gonna be busy with Comm stuff as well. I'm really worried that I'll be neglecting Flutes. Argh.

There have been other things on my mind too. And it's not helping really.

Somehow, it's like de javu, but not quite yet.

I don't like de javu.

Screw you de javu.

is all I have to give.

2006-02-26T11:06:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging cos I got nothing to blog about. Just really looking forward to what's ahead.

Expectations and pressures are not the most pleasant things that can befall anyone, and it sure is shitty to go through. But hey, look at it this way, the fact you are still what you are proves a lot about yourself. Once you emerge from all this, you know you're not the same person anymore. You're stronger, smarter, and better.

Cheers.

Oh and just for kicks...

thanks for the badge dan.

every morning.

2006-02-18T13:55:00.000+08:00

Good evening, welcome to Flutes at the Fort. =)

it's still.

2006-02-16T01:05:00.000+08:00

So it's all coming to an end: year 1 and ny. Both have left a very big mark on me.

I don't really care much about year 1 I guess. Sure, 1st sem was fun and exciting and challenging, and 2nd sem was boring but enriching. But I won't hesitate to take on other modules. Bring it on woohoo.

But ny, it would be quite sad to leave. So many memories, so many friends, it's a really big part of me. It's been so enriching, yet so so humbling at the same time.

Ok, this is getting sappy.

for just.

2006-02-12T00:50:00.000+08:00

look over there. could it be?

hiding in the closet,
the tail slips out once in a while.
but the housekeeper always puts it back in,
and it wonders if it will ever be let out.

look over there. could it be?

by the way, check out my latest shot. flickr exceeded again.

just a line in your book.

2006-02-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

As I am in NP library struggling to finish the soab prop essay, I recall what ah boy said in lecture on Monday.

"Why are you guys going to toilet one by one in a train?! It's very distracting! If you guys want to go toilet go together!"

Yeap. Back to reference cards.

x. x. x.

2006-02-02T00:54:00.000+08:00

I don't know how many people recall my post many many months back.

I said I talk to myself in the mirror.

Guess what?

I'm doing it again.

Hi Farand.

a13

2006-01-30T22:45:00.000+08:00

a box sealed in elephant glue.

a computer with an unknown password.

a watch in safe deposit.

a book 'in transit'.

a book with no words.

a bottle in deep freeze.

a negative deprived of light.

a bulb with no electricity.

a wireless mouse with no battery.

a handphone with a spoilt keypad.

a safe with a lost combination.

a piggy bank with no coin slot.

a karibeener with no catch.

world go round.

2006-01-22T11:25:00.000+08:00

As I waste away yet another day by not doing my work, I am here to blog.

Assignment deadlines are drawing nearer and I can't wait for this semester to end. Sure, writcomm is interesting and all but I could do away with the boring workload. Speechcomm was loads of fun but gets draggy on the whole, except for the speeches which bring me back to my MC-ing days. Radio's cool but I'm not into that. Socpsy is good to read from textbook but plain boring when taught. IS modules were interesting but not to my fancy.

As you can tell, I didn't really enjoy myself much this sem. I think stepping into mcm by taking the killer modules first made my threshold for stress so much higher. Coupled with my passion for stuff like photography, design and PR, 1st sem was, what cool people call, "da bomb".

In fact, I can't wait to graduate. Yes, I know I'm only yr1 now. But heck. I was telling Az, I'm built for the industry, not education.

But alas (elleh), the meritocratic system in our beloved homeland leaves me with no choice but to pursue a degree before I can land my dream job. An ad for the SIA Pilots Career Talk a few months back specifically mentioned university graduates in their final year of studies are welcome...

fuck.

I don't see why poly graduates are still being undermined. Sure, I don't mind the label that we are" a place where people go when they cannot make it to JC" cos I know that is but a myth. These statements are made by narrow-minded assholes. But still, if you enter the industry with a diploma, you're bound to lose out to those with degrees. I hate to admit that, but it's true.

So what if local universities are gradually accepting more diploma holders? Think about it. Can Singapore afford to have jobless a-level graduates(no offence to my JC pals) roaming the streets? Heck no! So they decide that it's ok to dump us non-JC people to fight for ourselves because we are ready for the industry.

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. I know. Working in ny has opened my mind. Enrolling at ngee ann has broadened my vision. I mean, is paper qualification all that matters to us? I mean it's so fucked up that my friend can't get into SHATEC, even though he's extremely passionate and skilled, just because he doesn't have an O-level cert.

This realisation of society's superficiality sucks. I made a decision thinking that with hard work, you can shine. No doubt, that is true. But it's not so easy.

C'mon guys. We can do better than that.

over the friends that we've known and those that we now know.

2006-01-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

Couldn't help but upload these shots. I thought I could wait till February when my upload quota is renwed, but I just love these shots so much.

Ok bye.

Over the houses, the streets and the trees.

2006-01-18T11:19:00.000+08:00

Tonight We Fly

Tonight we fly
Over the houses
The streets and the trees
Over the dogs down below
They'll bark at our shadows
As we float by on the breeze

Tonight we fly
Over the chimney tops
Skylights and slates -
Looking into all your lives
And wondering why
Happiness is so hard to find

Over the doctor, over the soldier
Over the farmer, over the poacher
Over the preacher, over the gambler
Over the teacher, over the rambler
Over the lawyer, over the dancer
Over the voyeur,over the builder and the destroyer,
Over the hills and far away

Tonight we fly
Over the mountains
The beach and the sea
Over the friends that we've known
And those that we now know
And those who we've yet to meet

And when we die
Oh, will we be
That disappointed
Or sad
If heaven doesn't exist
What will we have missed
This life is the best we've ever had

Divine Comedy. (n.d.). Discography: Promenade. Retrieved January 18, 2006, from http://www.thedivinecomedy.com/lyrics.htm#promenade

you asked me what I want this year.

2006-01-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

I thought I'd sneak in a post in the midst of my rush to finish an assesed speech due in about 10 hour's time.

Hello everybody. How have you been?

I happened to be part of a few 'happenings' recently; some in school, some at work. But yeah, you learn something new everyday.

I read an article in a backdated issue of Lime magazine when my friends were doing their research for their essay.

I think I sh

Oh nevermind. Bye.

outside your skin right near the fire.

2006-01-04T23:37:00.000+08:00

The date, my friends, is the 4th of January.

2006.

The time, as I begin this post, is 11.41.

PM.

After yet another day of zero productivity, I am forced to admit that I have no interest in work whatsoever. That's bad.

I met my teachers when I was cycling today, and apparently, for some freakishly, stupendously screwed-up reason, they have come to know of my little 'feat'. Like what the hell man. It didn't help back then, when I just found out about it and wanted to keep it to myself and a few others, that it was 'publicly' made known. It doesn't help now either. Bleargh.

It was yet another day of contemplation for me. I watched a documentary on Discovery on the Airbus A380. I was blown away. I swear that when they showed the footage of the A380 take off for the very first time, my balls dropped to the ground. I felt chills down my spine, and my mouth dropped open. My breath got heavier with every second of the footage and I sank into the sofa. I don't know what fascinates me so much about aeroplanes. I'm thinking it's a complex mix of my obsession with Singapore Airlines, my passion about service, my awe for commercial airliners' majesty and my tendency to have dreams.

America's Next Top Model was on next on Ch5. I watched it. It was nice. I love Tyra Banks. Her eyes, they mesmerise me.

By the way, did I tell you that I love taking pictures? Snap snap!

live for this and you won't look back.

2006-01-01T18:37:00.000+08:00

What do you know. My first post of 2006. Wicked...

Anyway, New Year's Eve was the best for me this time around. In 2004, I was working. The years before that, I can't really remember. But I digress.

A few of us went down to orchard and joined in the foaming. Fun stuff. After the whole thing went over to wei's house to play mahjong. I finally know how to play. Haha. Anyway, after the game of mahjong, we went to bed. It was around 6am. I was comfortably curled up on the couch and I tried to sleep. But I couldn't help but think to myself: This is really nice. I mean, it was truly a let-your-hair down thing. I've not done that very often in my 17 years. I fell asleep eventually.

Here at home, the rain made me sleepy and I slept after lunch till now. I think the weather and the songs I'm listening to now make me all reminiscent and shit. I mean, I can't help but look at the people I knew in vs. They've become amazing people. Some have become even better than what they were back in vs, and some are blooming like nobody's business. Hell, they're dang good.

My inner-self, i.e. ego, is reminding me of what people thought and expect of me, be they good or bad. But hey, I'm not gonna be ashamed to admit I pale in comparison to these people. I don't know how I was back then or now, but I really admire their spirit and drive.

Me? I'm more or less jaded already. My attitudes have changed, and I really couldn't care less about a lot of things. But jaded is still the best word to describe me now I think.

Happy new year everyone. And thank you.

greatest story ever told.

2005-12-31T13:51:00.000+08:00

I notice everyone's been posting the 'end-of-year' posts. I did already, so I won't do it again.

Today I went cycling.

Yes, I went cycling. Close that gaping mouth of yours.

ANYway, yeah. I cycled to the safra resort area, checked out the new swimming pool, then headed home. On the way, noticed there was this small stretch of sand with no one around. So I went down, let the water wash up against my feet, then just sat down for a while. It was a nice sun. Not too strong, but strong enough to let me perspire.

Then I went home.

Yep that's it. Happy New Year you awesome dudes and dudettes.

li ght. ne.

2005-12-29T12:02:00.000+08:00

li ght. ne.
Originally uploaded by s t r a farand n g e r.

Was so bored doing my essay outline, decided to take potographs around my house.

I wandered into my brother's room, and was struck by the beams on the ceiling. Lying down on the floor, it looked cool, so I went snap snap.

Nope, that's not a white circle I photoshopped. It's the room's light. A dangling, ball of light.

like a whirlwind pulling me away.

2005-12-27T01:21:00.000+08:00

I don't know how many people actually 'read' my last post. I only know idah did. Oh well.

This post will be straightforward. No more hidden, scroll-down posts. For now.

It's the 27th of December. Wait. It's already the 27th of December. A year has passed, and as I turn my head to see what's behind, I find myself stoning.

A year ago, I was still a trainee server at nydc. I was new in the working world and was experiencing stuff that I wouldn't had I taken a different step.
Today, I am a proficient server, cashier and kitchen assistant, at the very same place.

A year ago, I would be worrying about what my mother would say to me if I stepped into house at 11pm.
Today, I find myself strolling home from Siglap Centre at 1am, my mind wandering where it can.

A year ago, I was unsure of myself and what I did.
Today, I know I'm among the best that there is.

A year ago, I was Farand.
Today, I am Farand, with a kiss of lemon.

C'mon people. I'm ready.

the angel's voice.

2005-12-20T00:23:00.000+08:00

It's been quite a while since I've done this.

Thank you for visiting. =)

Congratulations. I shall begin my post now.

The past week has been full of ups and downs. Amazing ups and downs might I add. Very very reminiscent of the days I had not too long ago. The gathering was super. There's nothing better than VS guys talking cock, drinking what little booze we had, and pals just hanging after everything. Wow.

I do miss those days. I do. My life's pretty good so far. Aside from shitty assignments and stuff, I'm pretty much enjoying everything: work, friends and all.

Saturday was my cousin's wedding. It was the first church wedding ceremony I attended so it was pretty interesting. The dinner at Sentosa was beautiful. Sentosa. Don't think I need to elaborate. More than once I spaced out picturing myself getting married.

*insert awkward silence* * expects witty comment from friend(s)*

Yeah.

It's really fast. My first year as a MassCommer is almost ending. But I ain't complaining.

I miss VS.

Hi, my name is Farand.

getting ready.

2005-12-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

Guava pieces are being consumed by the author of this blog at this very moment.

Something is seriously wrong and I don't know what the hell it is. Normally people notice it then I realise it. But now, it's what you call self-realisation.

I don't know if it's work; I don't know if it's the pace of things this sem; I don't know if it's just me. somewhere, something has snapped.

We always say people expect too much out of us. But in my super-duper wierd case, I expect too much out of myself. Damn.

I find myself easily distracted and have no interest in school work whatsoever. It's not that I don't like going to school, I just don't like this sem's work compared to last sem's. Rarr.

Woo! I'm screwed.

somehow here is gone.

2005-12-02T12:01:00.000+08:00

It doesn't seem to long ago when I stepped into the room and took the seat. I remember my eyes darting about, desperately searching for a familiar face. Alas! It was in vain. I squirmed in my seat, looking straight ahead at the screen. The screen was empty. House/chill-out music mingled with the air in the room.

It soon began...

My quest had begun, to denounce the myths, and if I were to perish, I would hopefully be remembered as a martyr.

Obstacles were soon in sight. Numerous, gargantuan ones. I was scared, terrified, maybe even petrified. But I did my best and mustered up enough courage to conquer them. I was battered and worn out by the treacherous journey. Battle wounds burned and scars formed. I emerged a different person.

Now I see myself in a different light. Now I know that I can do it. Now, I know that I must do it.

The glory of a battle won is indeed flattering, but as they say: the battle might have been won, but the war isn't over yet.

I will do you proud, for what I am, was seeded then.

labour. love. learn.

never a second too late.

2005-11-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

And so it's been a month since school started. I think a little bit of reflection is in place for me.

It's been eventful I must admit. Very eventful.

I'm thinking that I've changed. I dunno. I feel as if I've offended everyone around me.

But I think I have changed. And I'm pretty sure what brought about this change.

Faridah and I were at FMS rooftop after Radio class today. I was rushing my assignment and she started singing christmas charols. I then joined her with crazy tunes and she said something like this.

"You're really different today. You're not such a bastard."

Something like that. But the word bastard was there. Basically she said I wasn't my normal, arrogant self. Set me thinking about myself and stuff. Yeah.

My mind brought me back to when I was in Sec2. I remember how Azad, Alvin, Lucas, Marcus and Zong Yu whacked me left right and centre during mirrors. It was kinda nostalgic, yet sad.

Yes I may have changed.
Yes I may be dong things differently now.
Yes I may have different priorities.

But hey, I'm still me.

I'm still Farand. =)